I'm having another episode.

I just need a stronger dose.

I can't fucking sleep because I'm terrified of everything in life I can't control. How can I succeed in life if I can't even control my own mind?

I hate myself. I'm having one of those nights where I hate myself so much that I wish my room didn't even have a mirror. I look at my arms and my stomach and my thighs and I think about how much I would love to be thinner and have better skin and prettier hair and I know I could fix myself but my negativity has destroyed my will to do anything except sulk.

I hope I get out of that soon. Bad habit.

Fuck I need to sleep. Maybe someday I will.