Such is life, she often said.

It is very hard for me to function sometimes, but I am doing the best that I can.

I also do not understand how I have a bigger audience in Russia for this blog than I do in the United States. I don't even know how I have an audience at all.

It must seem to you, reader, like I focus too much on my anxiety. I wish that weren't the case. I wish I could focus on my life, but I'm not invested in anything except the pure, gripping terror I feel all the time, sometimes for no reason, sometimes for a very specific reason.

I miss the person I used to be.

I miss the person I'm supposed to be.