Trying to paint a new picture is hard because I think I already used all the paint on the first one.

Listen: I miss you more than I can ever find the words to say. Okay? Are you happy now? I miss you so much that I have traveled back two years on my social networking accounts to read what you and I have said to each other. It's the closest I can get to talking to you.

I am no longer sticking to my principles because they are my principles. I am sticking to them because I have already told people what my principles are. I am weaker than who I decided to be in the beginning of all of this. I am not big enough to be brave or strong. I am too hurt by what has happened to love myself enough.

You hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me, and I will never forgive you I swear up and down. You took my favorite parts of my life and ruined them but fuck if I could spend just one day with you like nothing ever happened I would throw everything I ever said out the window and spend that day with you.

Nothing I have told anyone about her matters on nights like this where I feel like I am drowning and I am lonely and nothing will ever be the same.